Archive for the ‘Things I Can Do Without’ Category

More Things I Can Do Without…

Saturday, October 28th, 2006

1. Special Reports 5 minutes before my soapie was going to go off anyway.

2. Telemarketers…especially those that refer to me as “Mees De Bor Rahh”.

3. Dog toys that last exactly 6 minutes and 32 seconds before being ripped to shreds.

4. Law & Order: Criminal Intent – I tried. I really did but that guy just creeps me out.

5. The Local News – “The sky is falling! The world is burning! We’re all gonna die! More at 11.”

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Things I Can Do Without

Thursday, August 24th, 2006

~ Pencil Neck Geeks Copping to Crimes They Did Not Commit

Please, is there really any living, breathing, sane person on this planet who actually believes this total goober is the killer? Is he nuts? Absolutely. Has he probably done some outrageous and even heinous things? Without a doubt…but Jon Benet Ramsey is not part of that list. Lock him up for something and throw away the key but get him out of the spotlight and stop feeding his sick ego. That baby girl deserves better than all this hoopla over a moron.

~ Motorcycles with Handicap Tags

Excuse me…What? If you are bad off enough to need to park in a handicap space, chances are you shouldn’t even be on a motorcycle in the first place. Do I get a hand clap here?

~ “Mean People Suck” Bumper Stickers

If you display a “Mean People Suck” bumper sticker, you automatically qualify as one of the “Mean People” and therefore, you…well, I’m sure you get the picture.

~ Neglected Family Cemeteries

Come on people. This has to be the ultimate in disrespect.

~“Head-On, Apply Directly to the Forehead. Head-On, Apply Directly to the Forehead. Head-On, Apply Directly to the Forehead.”

I have started an investigation into just who it was that came up with this ridiculous piece of sadistic advertising. There are still seats available on the bus for anyone interested in joining us as we apply our boots directly to his or her forehead. Contact the tour director for more information.

For previous “Things I can Do Without” entries, click here and here

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