bonecollector

Blatantly stolen from Below the Eight, who blatantly stole it herself!!

Can’t seem to keep your resolutions? How about making “Anti-Goals” instead? Things you intend NOT to do. How cool is that?

My Anti-Goals for 2008

1. Paint my house a wonderfully fluorescent glorious shade of pink.

2. Get up at 4:30 a.m. every morning and run five miles before going to work.

3. Write The Complete Authorized Biography of Paul Harvey (with illustrations).

4. Start a rescue for feral cats.

5. Buy a Yugo…with real American money.

6. Enroll the pups in ballet classes…then join and go with them.

7. Find Jimmy Hoffa.

8. Replace all of my silverware with wooden spoons. {You really have to know me to get this}

9. Sing God Save the Queen on a bridge over the river Kwai while riding a camel backwards.

10. Use semicolons everyday in as many documents as possible…since they are so very useful.

Okay, your turn!!

I have been absolutely drowning in immigration issues at Smurf Village for the last several months as we try to wrangle out a policy that both the lawyers and Papa Smurf here can live with. Hasn’t quite happened yet.

Anyway, I ran across these videos today and haven’t stopped laughing yet. They are a parody on the Mac vs PC commercials. Enjoy.

I would be too busy laughing to bowl! The advertising is too cool.

Three Things to Think About

1. Cows

2. The Constitution

3. The Ten Commandments

Cows

Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing that our government can track a single cow born in Canada almost three years ago, right to the stall where she sleeps in the state of Washington ? And, they tracked her calves to their stalls. But they are unable to locate 11 million illegal aliens wandering around our country. Maybe we should give each of them a cow.

The Constitution

They keep talking about drafting a Constitution for Iraq. Why don’t we just give them ours? It was written by a lot of really smart guys, it has worked for over 200 years, and we’re not using it anymore.

Ten Commandments

The real reason that we can’t have the Ten Commandments posted in a courthouse is this:

You cannot post “Thou Shalt Not Steal,” “Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery”, and “Thou Shall Not Lie” in a building full of lawyers, judges and politicians. It creates a hostile work environment.

Just a word to the less than business wise here. When you want me to choose you to spend my hard earned money on (okay, so maybe it’s not so “hard earned” really) for supplemental insurance, maybe…just maybe…you should put in a few extra minutes at the creative juices bar to come up with an appropriate e-mail address for your business communications.

Come now, Scooter. Do you really think I’m gonna buy insurance, or anything else for that matter, from a guy who has the lack of good sense to use “batmanhead” for his business e-mail?

I kid you not. Batmanhead wants us all to buy insurance from him so badly that he has somehow conned someone in the city into attaching his little fluorescent pink flyer to our paychecks offering us his “duckly” services…if you get my “quack”. All we have to do is drop him an e-mail at his most prestigious address…you know…batmanhead@whatever domain…pick one. I’m sure someone will reply and will probably be willing to sell you something. How ducky!