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~ Pencil Neck Geeks Copping to Crimes They Did Not Commit

Please, is there really any living, breathing, sane person on this planet who actually believes this total goober is the killer? Is he nuts? Absolutely. Has he probably done some outrageous and even heinous things? Without a doubt…but Jon Benet Ramsey is not part of that list. Lock him up for something and throw away the key but get him out of the spotlight and stop feeding his sick ego. That baby girl deserves better than all this hoopla over a moron.

~ Motorcycles with Handicap Tags

Excuse me…What? If you are bad off enough to need to park in a handicap space, chances are you shouldn’t even be on a motorcycle in the first place. Do I get a hand clap here?

~ “Mean People Suck” Bumper Stickers

If you display a “Mean People Suck” bumper sticker, you automatically qualify as one of the “Mean People” and therefore, you…well, I’m sure you get the picture.

~ Neglected Family Cemeteries

Come on people. This has to be the ultimate in disrespect.

~“Head-On, Apply Directly to the Forehead. Head-On, Apply Directly to the Forehead. Head-On, Apply Directly to the Forehead.”

I have started an investigation into just who it was that came up with this ridiculous piece of sadistic advertising. There are still seats available on the bus for anyone interested in joining us as we apply our boots directly to his or her forehead. Contact the tour director for more information.

For previous “Things I can Do Without” entries, click here and here

Today marks the first day for a new category here at Bonecollector. Let’s call it “Caption This”. Some photographs just seem to scream for specific captions and, oh how I do love to caption! As I run across such pics, I’ll present them to you folks for your caption ideas.

Of course, knowing me, the first one had to be my favorite goofball, President Shrub. Have at it kiddies.

Dear Mom & Dad,

Our Scoutmaster told us to write to our parents in case you saw the flood on TV and are worried. We are okay. Only one of our tents and two sleeping bags got washed away. Luckily, none of us got drowned because we were all up on the mountain looking for Adam when it happened. Oh yes, please call Adam’s mother and tell her he is okay. He can’t write because of the cast. I got to ride in one of the search and rescue jeeps. It was neat. We never would have found Adam in the dark if it hadn’t been for the lightning.

Scoutmaster Keith got mad at Adam for going on a hike alone without telling anyone. Adam said he did tell him, but it was during the fire so he probably didn’t hear him. Did you know that if you put gas on a fire, the gas will blow up? The wet wood didn’t burn, but one of the tents did and also some of our clothes. Matthew is going to look weird until his hair grows back. We will be home on Saturday if Scoutmaster Keith gets the bus fixed. It wasn’t his fault about the wreck. The brakes worked okay when we left.

(more…)

If you have not yet seen the Fantasia Barrino story on Lifetime, let me highly recommend that you make the time to catch it. I saw it last night and enjoyed it immensely. Kudos to you Girl. What a ride!

I will explain the magnitude of this very soon but this song speaks volumes about my world right now. Bless you Deborah and Dawn.

Ishbaniban had a little lamb
Its fleece was white as snow
And everywhere Ishbaniban went
He said the lamb was cloned…

Yeah, okay.

DISCLAIMER {No actual lambs or lamb-like material were harmed in the composing of this little ditty. Ishbaniban is a fictional character from the mind of the composer and is not meant to reflect or resemble any known individual of Middle Eastern descent.}

Does this ever happen to you? Someone comes into the office and starts talking about Human Resources but refers to it as HR. Well, as soon as “HR” leaves their lips I chime in with “Pufnstuf…who’s your friend when things get rough”. They are not amused. Poor babies.